The Other Side of Humility: Finding Growth, Worthiness, and Confidence

From an early age, I was taught to be humble. To stay grounded. To not “get too big for my britches.” But recently, I heard Matthew McConaughey say something that stopped me in my tracks:

“Humility is—you got more to learn.”

That hit me hard. Because for so long, I thought humility meant being quiet, passive, or less confident. But what if humility means we’re open to learning more about ourselves and the world around us?

This past week, I went on a writing retreat—my second year attending—and I realized how much time I’ve spent being “humble” in the wrong way. I’ve played small. I’ve waited until I felt “ready” or “worthy” to share my voice and my work. But worthiness isn’t something we earn—it’s something we uncover.

As we were meeting about my book plans, I openly questioned, "Why me?" My publisher and her team reminded me that I already have what it takes—the experience, the background, the passion to support others. The real challenge isn’t capability—it’s believing we deserve to share it.

And maybe you’ve felt that too. That tug-of-war between wanting to step forward and fearing what will happen if it actually works out. This is a familiar feeling, one of safety, and of navigating feelings of overwhelm. At the risk of being too much, I've typically kept myself small. Well, I'm done doing that. What is wrong with inspiring others to be at their best? What makes achieving dreams so inconceivable that we make ourselves small and are complacent in living with, "well, this is just how it is."

I don't want that for you. I don't want that for anyone. If you are reading this, what is something in your life right now that is not where you want it to be? Is it health or wellness? Is it finances or professional life? Is it a balance of growth and opportunity or establishing roots with a family and the people that surround you in life? Whatever it is, verbalize what is holding you back from pursuing the next step. And then write down what you have left to learn.

Here’s what I’ve learned: when we access humility healthily, we open the door to confidence, growth, and genuine connection. When we recognize what we still have to know, we also open the door to inspiration for our next step. We make the next step that much more possible, and when we do, we take it with conviction.

3 Ways to Access Humility and Find Growth on the Other Side

1. Embrace the “I don’t know.” True growth starts when we admit we don’t have it all figured out. In coaching—and in life—this opens space for curiosity instead of perfection. The moment you say, “I don’t know yet,” you give yourself permission to learn, grow, and try again.

2. Celebrate small courage. Confidence doesn’t come from nailing it the first time; it comes from showing up even when you’re unsure. Every small step toward something new—whether it’s starting a conversation, writing your story, or asking for help—builds internal proof that you’re capable.

3. Remember: worthiness isn’t earned. You don’t need to prove your value to deserve peace, purpose, or success. Worthiness already lives within you. The work is simply clearing out the noise that tells you otherwise.

I’m stepping into new territory—writing books, deepening my coaching practice, and helping fire service spouses and families see how capable they truly are. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Because when we choose to learn, we grow. And when we grow, we model confidence for everyone around us.

So—what might happen if you stopped waiting to feel worthy and started believing you already are?

What type of change would be possible for you if you were to step into a place of learning and curiosity? Wellness, finances, or professional? I know I have so much to learn, but I am excited about who I will become, what I have to offer, and how my transformation has changed my life. Something as simple as recognizing that I'm not there...YET, but I will be.

Having patience with myself and grace to learn again has been one of the most complex adjustments I have had to make in my life; it's right behind having kids. And the gamble is showing dividends. More opportunities are coming to me, and people are slowly beginning to pay attention and want to know more. This is a sign that what I have to say is starting to land and has purpose. And maybe so do you.

Ready to grow your confidence and step into your next chapter? Join me at The Next Step Connects to learn how clarity, awareness, and coaching can help you uncover your worth and create change from the inside out.

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