NEXT STEP CONNECT

My partner is involved and helps out, but some days he comes home depleted—mentally, physically, emotionally—and is, well… worthless in the activity realm. And let’s be real: we’re all looking for relief when they walk in the door. But here’s the thing—I realized they are too.

In most societies, that foundation begins with family—the first unit that shapes us. We learn who we are through conversation, interaction, modeled behavior, and love. Long before we grasp words like “culture” or “values,” our nervous systems absorb safety, belonging, and meaning through everyday moments.

When we zoom out and look at longevity—how we want to feel, move, think, and live decades from now—it becomes clear that most people aren’t making long-term decisions consciously. They’re reacting based on patterns their brain has already learned.

Financial sustainability isn’t something some people have, and others don’t. It’s not about luck or privilege—it’s about understanding how money works and learning how to use it as a vehicle to create the life you want.

If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: growth is earned in real time, not imagined in hindsight. Here are the top five lessons 2025 taught me—and what you might learn from my mistakes.

For those of you who are new here, I want to share something honestly and openly: I’m in a season of growth and change. And if you’ve ever been there too, you know this truth—newness can be deeply uncomfortable.

When we’re in it, it’s nearly impossible to see the other side—the lesson, the growth, the payoff of staying the course. All we can see is the weight of the moment we’re standing in.

There’s a trend popping up on TikTok lately — girls asking for “fire station tours” as if they’re signing up for a backstage pass at some romanticized firefighter fantasy camp. Gear try-ons, flirty voiceovers, glam shots with engines. And honestly? At this point, it’s become a sick joke.

And that’s when it hit me: what we are doing through the National Spouse Conference in Round Rock is so much more than just bringing people together or helping them understand each other’s professions. We are helping them reconnect with each other.

What if I told you the enemy in the fire service isn’t what you think it is?What if it’s something intangible—something we rarely name because we can’t quite see it, touch it, or pinpoint it…We just feel it. Deeply. What if the real enemy is the space between the life you expected… and the life you’re actually living?

Over time, I’ve found that wellness flows best when it fits easily into your lifestyle. The simpler the system, the easier it is to stay consistent.

This past week, I went on a writing retreat—my second year attending—and I realized how much time I’ve spent being “humble” in the wrong way. I’ve played small. I’ve waited until I felt “ready” or “worthy” to share my voice and my work. But worthiness isn’t something we earn—it’s something we uncover.

When we try to create change within the fire service, we’re often met with resistance—not because departments don’t care, but because they don’t have time. Their focus is on calls, staffing, and safety. The fire service never truly stops.

Yes, the fire service brings stress, missed moments, and plenty of frustration. I hear spouses talk about it all the time—and they’re not wrong. But here’s what we often overlook: we are already doing so much right.

Mindfulness can change how we impact our connections and set the stage for tremendous growth or meaningful connections to occur.

Mental toughness is an interesting beast. Some people train it daily—using it to endure more than they ever thought possible. Others don’t fully understand what it is or how much it can support us in everyday life.

Becoming self-aware is a process—a gradual shift in how we live and present ourselves. It’s not a means to an end or a destination. It’s a state of being. Once we begin to understand that, we realize awareness isn’t something we arrive at; it’s something we practice every day. It’s about maximizing our experience, potential, and presence in every moment.

After making a major shift in my professional life, I realized something significant: when one part of your life changes, everything changes. The way you see yourself, your priorities, even your sense of purpose.

Building relationships is as much about listening to and supporting ourselves as it is about connecting with other people.

We only get one life. No replays. No do-overs. And if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that our health and wellness—not just physical but mental, emotional, and spiritual—determine how fully we get to live it.